Being an immigrant can make communication with certain people a bit complicated. Growing up in Ukraine for the first seventeen years of my life, I have been influenced by Ukrainian society and its standards. After my seventeenth birthday, I moved to the United States, where I have been for three years now. It was difficult to adapt after moving to a different country because the majority of people here have very different from my opinions about certain topics. Moreover, this country has the issues that I have not been aware of before. These factors make it difficult to communicate with the groups of people that I have not had much experience with.
In Ukraine people are mostly white, look very similar and share many points of views. For example, since I was about ten years old, I knew that being overweight means being ugly, and having short hair makes me look like a boy. I also accepted the fact that I should know how to cook delicious dishes and make sure I am always looking my best, no matter what. Being the part of the family that was not financially stable, it was difficult to stick to the unspoken rules that were set up by the majority of society. With this mindset, after my family recovered financially, I moved to America, which has completely different thoughts on the issues I was so concerned about growing up. It was not easy learning how to communicate with people and not sound mean, intolerant or judgmental. I grew up with people telling to my face that my feet are too big and that I need better clothes. Having such idea of communication, I didn’t really know what reaction my words could bring. So I just stayed quiet for as long as I could.
However, with time my understanding of people’s mentality in New Jersey and New York grew stronger, I learned that there are specific topics and issues that I should learn more about. Eventually, I realized that I could finally be happy to be who I am because the issues that society tries to fix in the United States are different from the ones I had back in Ukraine. The difference was the fact that in Ukraine everyone is white. While in the United States, and especially in the two states mentioned earlier, the diversity of people can be overwhelming. Moreover, I learned that major issues this country has, are based on the concept that is very weak and undeveloped in Ukraine, the race. Race is the definition that varies from one place to another. Apparently, in the United States, plenty of problems are based on people’s skin color. Once I was told that I should be lucky because I am white, and this is when I knew I had to gain a better understanding of what this new society has to say about skin colors. It was shocking to learn how being white allows a person to have more privileges than having any other skin color. I understand that I am privileged to have the appearance I have, yet when I tell people my name and start speaking with my Slavic accent, half of those privileges get wiped away. Moreover, when growing up in the country where everyone has the same skin color, it is difficult to learn that in the United States, being white means getting more benefit from society.
The fact that I was growing up in the family that had financial issues, and society that consisted only from white people, can bring me some difficulties when communicating with the chosen subgroup. My fieldsite has various groups of people. Although I am going to focus on one specific subgroup of cyclists, there are going to be different people who are the part of that subgroup. Knowing my cultural background, I have to be careful about the way I communicate and behave around certain groups. After taking the psychology course that talked about prejudice, I learned a lot about myself, including the fact that I may be biased against different people. It is mostly African-American and Latino groups of people. Coming from the place that has people following very similar standards of behavior and style, it was complicated to accept the fact that people from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds express themselves differently from what I used to see for the first 17 years of my life. However, because I am aware of it, is what makes me better than someone who has no idea about their hidden bias. At first, it seemed difficult to even notice my own automatic thoughts on certain people’s behavior or appearance. But, after learning about the hidden bias, I have an easier time directing my thoughts in a better flow.
However, my worries do not stop on making sure I re-direct my thought related to people’s appearance. Growing up in the family that has not had an easy time financial-wise, I have a complicated relationship with those who seem to be very comfortable with their money. Upper West Side is known as the area where wealthy people live. I grew up thinking that the more affluent the person is, less empathetic that person can be. At some point, the topic of finances has become a sensitive one to talk about, so I avoid conversations that relate to me personally and that are touching on monetary aspects. Nowadays, when my family has recovered from the tough times, my perception of wealthier families is not as bitter as it used to be. However, I understand that it is very likely that my subconscious thoughts will influence me consciously. On the other hand, accepting this fact may also help me to be better if certain topics come up.
It takes a lot of effort to learn about own prejudice. Nobody wants to accept that one can be defined with such terrible words as racist, ageist or sexist. But, in order for those words to become not applicable, a person has to accept the fact that it is impossible to be completely open-minded. Nobody is born perfect, and it depends on hard work and own desire to become a better person. By being aware of personal bias, the journey of painful but enjoyable work on oneself begins.
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